Life is good :)

2011-09-23T00:34:00.003+01:00

It's ironic that, a year and a half ago, I was writing "Last. Post. Ever." I guess some things never really end.

I wish I had a TARDIS right now, then I could be everywhere and everywhen at once. Time travelling could be fun.

My building here is beginning to sound like 1st yr halls; not QUITE as loud but there's still the sound of people wandering around. I like being in a big building. Perhaps there's so many people but I also have my own space.

Yes, I'm resurrecting this once and for all, because it's easier than a diary.

I'm meeting Jess tomorrow at some coffee shop near town. Fun :)

I've decided to go to: Table Tennis, Fiddlers, Anime/Manga, CU (some things only once a fortnight as they're on the same nights). I even ordered my own table tennis bat tonight :)

My legs hurt from doing so much cycling in the 'deen but tomorrow I'm walking instead. Can't be bothered with the bike in town. Oh whoops I left it outside instead of in the shed. Oh well. I'm also having a major lie-in! Nothing to do before midday :)

Right I'm exhausted so off to bed must I go!

Pokemon

2011-04-26T22:39:00.002+01:00

I took this quiz tonight;

BUG! Absorbed in your own idea of the world around you, you often find yourself immune to the foolhardiness and vindictive behaviour of others. Although you have a tendency to cross the line and offend others with your behaviour, your pure intentions are obvious. What Kind Of Pokémon Are You?

I'm not sure if it's quite good, but anyways. I can't wait to get a DS and then I can play Pokemon to my little heart's content :) I used to love the Pokemon anime when I was in Primary School, but I had to love it in secret because my friends hated it. I also secretly collected the cards, but it was hard because I couldn't trade any (what with the friends not liking it and me wanting it to be a secret!). I still have my cards, but the collection looks very pathetic...

:)

Laptops

2011-03-30T15:21:00.002+01:00

Looks like I'm going to have to buy a new laptop... right as the Currys online clearance sale has finished.

Drat.

Can't get the one I wanted, but there's some pretty nice ones within my price range anyways.

The unhelpful heritage vanishes...

The Resurrection Rock

2011-02-05T23:06:00.002Z

Well, it's taken me a while to decide to do this, but I'm resurrecting the old blog.

Yes, I'm back in action on the old blogosphere!

And I'll start with quite a meaningful post, undoubtedly copied from the current BT advert.

When your world trembles and quakes
And your footing suddenly shifts and shakes
Take my hand
We’ll hide in the corner… hide in corner
Take my hand
We’ll hide ‘til it’s over… ’til it’s all over

lalalalala lalalalala

We have choices to make
We have promises that we can’t break
There is nothing left to lose
So hold on to me, I’ll hold on to you

Take my hand
We’ll hide in the corner… hide in corner
Take my hand
We’ll hide ‘til it’s over… ’til it’s all over

lalalalala lalalalala

- Allie Moss - Corner

(to my Superman).

Last. Post. Ever.

2010-01-05T18:25:00.004Z

(on this blog).

This isn't out of spite and it isn't me "pining" for you or whatever it is you think I'm doing.

All I needed was support. All I wanted was understanding. You gave me support, then you didn't, then you did, then you didn't, then you did, then you didn't, then you did, then you didn't, then you did, then you didn't, then you did, then you said you didn't care about me any more. Then you ignored me.

All I wanted was to talk to you. All I wanted was my "best friend" back. I needed my uni best friend, as we all do.

I know that I did and said things I'm not proud of too. You don't need to tell me I wasn't perfect. I apologised and you told me everything was ok. A week before you broke up with me, you said you weren't going to do just that. Nothing changed after that first breakup, but that's because you broke up with me. I was just getting to the point of being able to be happy again - your patience was beginning to pay off - then it put me right back to square one. I heard after Easter that you got back together with me that first time because of how you felt about me, but I never heard that from you. You can't expect me to suddenly be happy, especially whenever the reasons you gave were things I'm really insecure about anyway. It doesn't matter how long I've known people for, I can't talk in groups when I get stressed.

I know I was childish, but you were too. I know I treated you like crap, but you did likewise. You had me convinced that we got through all the arguments, all the tantrums, all the crap. What's the point in working it all out if in the end it was all in vain? What's the point in getting through it if there's nothing to show for it?

You have no idea how much my life has affected my personality. I wanted to be let into your life so that you could show me how it has affected you, and I let you in to every part of my life because I wanted you to understand me. Nothing could ever have been worked through properly if we didn't understand each other. I am nothing like my past - except when I stress myself out far beyond what I can handle. You know what I was like when I was happy. You have no idea what it's like to experience severe anxiety every day and not even know what it's called because you've never experienced it before.

You told me a lot after Christmas that you loved me. Then you told me that you had wanted to break up with me since Christmas. Those two things are very much mutually exclusive. No-one can love someone at the same time as wanting to break up with them. So which one was the lie? You had told me over Christmas that we could spend next Christmas together, the one that has just passed.

You told me I was perfect. Exactly. You were looking for something perfect, not something proper. Relationships are never perfect, but they are usually worth working through all the crap to get to the good part. I told you time and time again that it would get better over the summer when we had a chance to relax, and this year when we weren't living virtually on each other's doorsteps in a very stressful environment. I wasn't "clingy," I just needed you because of how I felt. You knew how I felt. Why was it that whenever you fought for us that was ok, but whenever I fought for us you didn't care?

I can't believe how much you lied to me. I can't believe how much of a joke you made me into. I can't believe how someone like you can stand there and think you're better than me, when I was falling apart. I can't believe how I still believe in you and believe you can be a nice person.

I got over the relationship months ago. I just can't get over the preceding friendship and all the lies. That's because nothing has ever been resolved.

One Year.

2009-09-14T18:24:00.001+01:00

So much can change in one year.

So much can be lost and so much can be gained.

Time, money, friendships, relationships, faith, hope, love, happiness, joy, maturity, Sense and Sensibility (see what I did? lol).

A good year can bring you to right where you want to be and where you should be, but a bad year can set you back decades.

Swine Flu

2009-08-29T22:55:00.002+01:00

Sounds like a fun game... http://www.miniclip.com/games/sneeze/en/

"Help to prevent the spread of the swine flu by catching your sneezes with a tissue and then washing your hands."

What does one do...?

2009-06-10T11:39:00.002+01:00

... when one is driving, hears sirens and doesn't know where they are coming from? Surely one stops or pulls over, provided the sirens are incredibly loud? After all, we know who wins when it's a collision between a fire engine and a relatively small car.

I was crossing Grand Parade yesterday, at the Ladas Drive/Castlereagh Rd junction. An ambulance drove down the Castlereagh Rd, sirens blazing, lights flashing. It got through the traffic and the lights were green for it ok. Then a fire engine came down Grand Parade, sirens blazing, lights flashing, and had to drive through the red lights. It got through ok, because people stopped. Then another one came. This time, it had to get into the wrong lane because there were now cars in both lanes going forward. As it ran the lights, there was an almighty bang. It hit the back end of a car that hadn't stopped, sent it spinning across the traffic and into another car that had stopped.

Why?

It was not wreckless driving on the fireman's part; he had slowed but obviously had to get to the fire asap so hadn't slowed enough to stop in time, he was simply hoping that the sirens and flashing lights would alert everybody to his presence.

I wouldn't say it was the complete fault of the car driver. He obviously hadn't seen the danger, and the lights were green for him. All the same, it's not like the sirens were on some sort of "mute" mode. Had he not also seen the other fire engine, and thought that the other sirens could be coming from the same direction? It's all very confusing.

So, the fire engine that was on it's way to probably quite a big fire (since there were two trucks called, but maybe that just happens no matter what the size) had to stop and the firemen had to attend to the casualties. I don't think anyone was majorly hurt, but some people did take quite a beating.

What would one do on smaller roads? There was one time mum was driving me to school and all of a sudden a fire engine came round the corner on our side of the road. Thankfully mum swerved onto the pavement. It was going at some speed, too.

2009-06-06T13:13:00.002+01:00

Why is it that, on my last day here, my friends all decided to go to lunch a whole hour earlier than usual on a Saturday without telling me? All I wanted was one last Saturday lunch with everyone, the way it should be. I can't even get to say goodbye to everyone now because they're al disappeared off somewhere. I can't even confront anyone, or ask them why, because any time I've done that lately they've made if out to be my fault in the first place. I don't get it. Was it because Ross was there? Because that's just pathetic, I should be the one to decide whether I can be around him. It's my last day here, I probably won't see any of them again at this rate. The only people here I've let myself get close to have all decided to leave me out since Ross dumped me. Don't they understand how lonely I've been here? I've tried so hard to be included. Before, Ross was the only person who ever included me in group outings, except one time when he only told me about a cinema trip when I asked him who he was going with. I just wanted one last lunch, to say goodbye. How hard?

It's Time to get this Started Again

2009-05-31T21:26:00.005+01:00

I've been away from here too long.

My day has been really odd; not quite in a funny way (I'm still not ready to be fully happy again, but getting there).

I saw three people who look like people from my past; Mrs McCartney from school (in church this morning), Rachael Collins' sister from Ohio (when I went for a walk) and Marty from WHSmith (in Tesco).

I went for a walk from 7-8pm and it was quite funny in parts. I almost screamed at a pigeon; I was walking really close to railings and I thought I see something kinda odd-looking outta the corner of my eye, sitting on the railings. I looked up and saw a pigeon right above my head... aah! hehe. I also saw a really gorgeous fluffy tabby cat frolicking in a garden; it leaped up and clapped it's paws together, probably trying to catch a fly :)

I also bumped into Ricardo; since he heard about the break-up he's been dropping quite drastic hints... tonight it was that since I'm an only child it'll be hard on the guy who I end up spending eternity with, because my parents won't let me run off to Mexico... lol. That may well be the last time I see him :( I'm leaving on Sunday and he's handing in his dissertation (his last thing he has to do for uni) before I get back in September. I pomised him I'd text him though, so I gotta remember to do that! Every time I think about it, for some reason I don't and then I forget :( I'm such a bad friend lol.

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Now playing: Coldplay - Death And All His Friends
via FoxyTunes

Stirling, Sea Sickness and Home Sweet Home

2009-04-08T11:34:00.002+01:00

The parents picked me up at 9.30 this morning, to avoid fire alarm testing :P

We did some shopping in town, then headed on.

Some more shopping was done at a Glendoick garden centre.

Then we hit a shopping centre at Stirling. It was massive, but apparently not massive enough as we had time for lunch, shopping, another drink in the cafe, and even an hour to spare when we got to Troon.

Looking out of the Stirling cafe window: a rainbow. A beautiful, beautiful rainbow. I’ll put a picture up once I’m back in halls with my connector cable (I took it on the phone). It was a full one, not disappearing into the clouds or anything. It was so bright. One of life's wonderments :)

After a 2hr ferry ride from Troon to Larne, my awesome tuna-mayonnaise-and-sweet-corn sandwich, along with about ten Doritos (I started feeling queasy whilst eating them) are now lying, half digested, in some waste disposal heap (hopefully anyway!)

I don’t usually get travel sick except on plane journeys over about 4hrs, but I guess boats just get me. I’m fine in cars, buses and trains for any length of time; planes I need travel sickness things (but like I said, only after 4hrs); boats do me in. I never realised before, otherwise I would have made a point of bringing my travel sickness things with me. I've only been on four boats, excluding my Granda's little sail boat (which doesn't really count as Granny never let him take me out when it was rough, and it was only ever about 30mins maximun). And the annoying thing? Five minutes... FIVE MINUTES later we docked. Stupid tummy!

Mum gets really bad motion sickness, and she started feeling queasy pretty much as soon as the boat took off. We were both as fine as can be whilst feeling queasy, until the Captain announced (after an hour’s travel) we would, within minutes, be leaving the sheltered Scottish coast and be heading straight into gale force winds (which would inevitably make us a further half hour late, i.e. a further half hour at sea). Mum’s face was priceless, and I guess mine may have been too. I did better than mum (she looked like death personified), but it got to the point where we had no hope of docking anytime soon (or so we thought) and I just knew that if mum threw up, I would too.

By this stage, the cabin crew had handed almost everyone a sick bag; we got three between us and I just acquired two more (simply by making eye contact and raising my hand). Then it started. I tried to cover my ears and nose so I would be oblivious to mother, but I failed. Soon as she finished her second bag I started on my first. We managed two bags each, which I think was quite impressive really.

Then we saw the artificial lights of Larne.

The drive home was even better; of course it was raining. It’s always raining here. When we got to Carrickfergus, the gale force winds had obviously eased off by the time they reached the shore, but as is usual the waves were coming right over the railings and wall, soaking all cars that dared drive in their path. It was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

The cat was waiting for me :) He had a good sniff and a cuddle. He demanded food, which he was reluctantly given.

There’s lots of new things; the shower curtain is new, we’ve got new towels, there’s a new sofa, I’ve got some new drawers (that I knew nothing about!), the cat has new bowls, wonder what else I’ll find?

I unpacked one bag (I think one bag a day should be a good target) and now I’m writing this at half past midnight. I’ll publish it tomorrow since I don’t have internet on the laptop when I’m here.

I was worried that I wouldn’t have any non-study-related books to read here, but I’d obviously forgotten about that one I started over Christmas, 50 Philosophy Ideas you really need to know. Yeah yeah, ‘non-study-related’ but seriously, I’m not doing Philosophy this term so it doesn’t count :P

I’m glad to be home :) but yet I’m still counting the days till I get back, just in the back of my mind. How does that work? Pfft.

Things to remember about being home:

1) We don’t have hot water 24/7 therefore showers need to be taken before 8am

2) The bathroom floor is tiled and we don’t have any fancy under floor heating, so never go in barefoot

3) Breakfast, lunch and dinner can be what I want, when I want it (provided we have it)

Anything else??

Is this true???

2009-04-06T11:50:00.005+01:00

(Google in the good old days used postcards for searching)

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Now playing: Five For Fighting - Maybe I
via FoxyTunes

Essays.

2009-04-06T10:42:00.003+01:00

The bane of my life.

Also, how come I'm still getting popups when I downloaded a popup blocker add-on for Firefox? And it's not even just random popup things either. argh!

Yes, I'm a complainer.
Take it or leave it.

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Now playing: Five For Fighting - Angels And Girlfriends
via FoxyTunes

A thought...

2009-04-05T22:13:00.001+01:00

ER no longer says,

Previously, on ER:

at the start.

Mental note to self/Tip for others

2009-04-05T19:10:00.002+01:00

Don't go to bed at 2am on the day one's parents arrive; they will ony want to be walked round the beach all afternoon and father will have a very dodgy hip and mother's feet won't put up with a lot... ah dear.

Today has been alright. I wasn't really in the mood for a lot of the parents, what with being tired and everything (and I still haven't finished the essay; whops!) but we spent all afternoon together, on the beach and stuff. Then we went out for dinner (The Manchurian Chinese restaurant) and thankfully we were all tired enough after to go straight back to halls and hotel.

I'm packing :) meaning I can go to bed after breakfast tomorrow if I wish, or I can work on the essay. I SHOULD dothe latter, but I'm an Arts Student, so we'll see!

Strange things that happen...

2009-04-05T01:05:00.003+01:00

1) My fruit salad I had in the fridge for one might last week turned to ice

2) My milk this morning turned to ice overnight (that's when I realised I should check the fridge temperature... it's back to a normal 4degrees centigrade now)

3) A wasp waking me up twice on Friday morning

4) I hear a ticking noise now, even though there's no clock in my room

5) I find out that Lochland does the same rocking side-to-side thing as me

6) I slip and nearly fall on my backside in the hall on the way to bed

Anything else to add to the list?

eat@Hillhead

2009-04-05T00:45:00.001+01:00

Hillhead get good food.

Hillhead get beans when it's not Sunday brunch.

Hillhead get pure orange juice in the evenings.

Pfft.

Life, and Easter.

2009-04-03T15:03:00.006+01:00

I have been feeling incredibly ill today; I think it's a mixture of stress and everything else building up. I have decided that I'm not going to do any intense revision during the Easter break, except perhaps Greek because the amount of words I should know and remember by now is incredibly silly.

I have yet to find a good balance between work and play; I haven't written a proper diary entry since perhaps Christmas or before, I haven't blogged properly in a while, I always get up too early, I've only started reading (for pleasure) again... blah blah blah.

My parents will be here in 2 days, and Stephen gets back sometime today (not sure when & haven't heard him back yet) so that's all good. I hope Elizabeth gets those library books back to me tonight otherwise I'll be working with the essay on Sunday or Monday instead of tomorrow.

I just want everything to be good. That's all I ask for. Everything. Good. How it should be. I hope it can be.

Clare gets home soon yay! Sunday week, to be precise. She'll text me soon as she's back :) (well probably not AS SOON as she's back :P) can't wait. OK now I'm thinking I should really be working now, but seriously NO! I've tried today and gotten really stressed so it's just not worth it. All I'm doing is finishing an essay tomorrow, writing another on Wednesday then doing a chapter of Greek a day for the next seven days. That's it. Any more and you can shoot me. Seriously. I'd give you the gun if I had one!

Everything will be as it should be :)
I'm going to watch ER now.

I can't...

2009-03-23T23:12:00.002Z

... pretend I'm ok

... pretend I don't want more than a friendship

... pretend I'll be happy with how things are

... pretend not to care

... pretend not to hope

... pretend not to want

... pretend not to hold myself responsible; even just for starting it off

I don't need or want space, so please don't give it to me.

MY Quote of the Week

2009-03-23T07:15:00.001Z

"We can beat each other in many different ways"

I'll admit it, I said that one.

Break-ups (Heartache Part III)

2009-03-19T19:41:00.000Z

Sometimes life screws you over in a way you never thought possible.

No-one can go through life without geting their heart broken, some over and over again (I hope the latter's not me).

When it happens, no matter how hard it is, you just have to pick up the pieces and start again, hope nothing got ruined in the process, and love like you've never been hurt before.

Or will that make me even more vulnerable?

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

2009-03-16T10:04:00.000Z

My tutorial this morning finished at 9:30 (YAAAAAAY!!! :D:D:D)

I was pretty convinced Ross started at 10 and so would probably be leaving around then.

I was heading to the library by 9:45 (managed to get the last copy of a book I need over Easter!!)

But just in case I got it wrong, I went by his room to see if he was in.

I told myself he wouldn't be.

But I still went :(

Good news is I'm going to bed again till lunch!! :D

A Sad State of Affairs

2009-03-15T14:54:00.003Z

Persecution.

Religion.

Persecution and religion.

Not words that are ever very nice to hear in the same sentence.

The fact is that members of every religion worldwide are being persecuted for their beliefs on a daily basis. Even the seemingly peaceful religions are persecuting; at least, people who claim to be part of these religions are persecuting. And their own people are being persecuted in return.

In some countries it is kept quiet.

In others, everybody knows and it is an expected norm.

The fact is that in some places it is virtually on a par with parts of the Holocaust of World War II.

What do they think they are doing?

Do they think that they will gain power by eradication of other religions?

Do they think they are painting their religion in a good light?

People are being tortured.

Children are being killed.

Homes are being burned down.

To take the monotheistic religions as an example, how can anyone say they believe in God if they continue to persecute others for not believing themselves?

We should be free to believe what we want to believe.

We should be trying to make a difference to this sad state of affairs.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called 'Sons of God'"

We should be free to believe what we want to believe.

Every religion should also be free to recruit new members (I cannot remember the actual word for this!) but in a peaceful, unforceful way.

Eradicating nations is not preaching, evangelising, witnessing or testifying.

This is pure murder.

Click the title.

Life is crap.

2009-03-12T12:26:00.004Z

I cannot even begin to describe how I feel.
My heart beats a silent Hallelujah.

I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
but you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

Well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you?
But remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

hallelujah...

Well, maybe there's a God above
but all I've ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
It's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

(Jeff Buckley "Hallelujah")

Yes.

Amen.

Dulce et Decorum est

2009-02-07T16:58:00.003Z

Quite a haunting poem of Wilfred Owen's, I'll have you know.

I first came across it in 3rd year English class; we analysed a whole stack of war poetry that term. I quite liked the Latin bit at the end, though I did not (and still do not) think it true, btw.

Anyways, why I am I writing this?

Well, it will feature in one of my lectures this coming week, Religion at Ground Zero. I was reading over the lecture power point about ten minutes ago and it was quite frightening to be honest...

Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge I read, as footsteps started to be heard outside... in the sludge.

And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots I continued to read, as more footsteps, through the sludge, began to appear. And more and more. They got louder, as I read on.

Then they stopped.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-01-30T09:18:00.002Z

Something that certain hall members don't have a lot of.

Two fire alarms this morning, for both halls, in one hour; 3am and 4am. At least the second was maliciously set off. Where do these people get off? Just because their exams have finished doesn't mean others' haven't.

It could be worse, I could have had an exam at 9, but I don't. It's not till three.
It could be worse, I could have more than one exam, like Mary, but I don't.

But that's not the point.

The point is I needed sleep (as the vast majority of us did; those still with an exam or two and those who finished so long ago they've been out partying the week away) and I was in a very deep sleep (so deep that it took quiet some time between waking up and realising what that blaring siren actually was) and that lasted three hours. I didn't manage to sleep between the 2 alarms; to be fair it was only about half an hour by the time we'd gotten back in again before the next one. Then I think I was awake until 5 at least.

So that's one more night with disrupted sleep, or lack of sleep.
So that's one more exam that might not go so well.
So that's one more exam where I'm exhausted half way through.
So that's one more day I'm in a terrible mood.

Living here is awesome, but it sure sucks sometimes.

Night After Night...

2009-01-21T22:27:00.002Z

Overkill by Colin Hay;

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

Only during exam time have I known what this means for me.

Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
When I get stressed, my heartbeat quickens and I become very aware of it; it keeps me awake.

Ghosts appear and fade away
I suddenly, from nowhere, groan and smother my head into the pillow as yet another thought of something I forgot about, or thought I would have time for but don't, floats into my head. It disappears again.

This is a wonderful song :)

I still don't want you to go, especially after tonight, but it's ok. I'll be ok. I know I will :)

A Note on Sensibility

2009-01-20T09:22:00.002Z

Sleep really should come first, but sometimes, it really doesn't.

And that's ok.

In fact, it's awesome :)

When "Hopeless" Seems to be the Only Word

2009-01-17T12:46:00.001Z

Sleep.

All morning.

Have lunch and watch Neighbours.

Then you will be fully recharged :)

Blogging...

2009-01-04T17:59:00.001Z

is not the only thing that appears to have gone down the list of priorities.

Now I know that's hardly fair, since I have been out almost every night this week, but I do tell you when that's going to happen.

"Sorry I left you hanging" so, what, it's hard to say I'm going to watch Casualty, I'll call later (which didn't happen) or I'll call tomorrow?

"Sorry I left you hanging" isn't adequate after a whole week.

Relaxing :)

2009-01-04T12:25:00.002Z

This weekend has been good.

Got home when Saturday was just about dawning; haven't done that in a while!

Finally got to see what David's girlfriend looks like, turns out she's the same Lauren I met a couple of years ago before they started going out!

I'm up to date with everything at the minute, though I could have done some extra bits on Friday that would be an enormous help if I could've, but it was 5pm, I'd been working since 9am... and I was going out at 7, so I needed to keep my energy for that :P

I like seeing people :)
Siobhan tonight and other school people yay!

Oh Time, Where Have You Gone?

2009-01-01T17:48:00.002Z

I spent seven painstakingly long hours on Emile Durkheim's theory of religion, then had a shower, then turned the computer on and here I am.

And that is all I can say.

Clare leaves for Senegal in ten days, and I'll be back in Aberdeen in fourteen.

Christmas Day

2008-12-25T17:32:00.002Z

Has been awesome. In more ways than one.

I'll start with midnight mass at church.

Mum and I walked in, and found seats. I usually sit with Jennifer and Karen but their pew was full :( but it meant I got to sit with mum so she wasn't amongst strangers :) My throat was too bad to sing all the songs, even though there were just four. This year, I couldn't muster the throat strength to sing the descant parts as I usually do.

But that's not the point of midnight mass.
The point is the worship.
The point is the people.

The point is Jesus.

It starts at 11.15pm, then at midnight a bell sounds, just one ring, and whatever is going on at that point stops. There is about thirty seconds of silence, the minister and various assistants (curate, lay readers etc) sit in a moment of prayer. Then, the organ plays the introduction to Silent Night and we sing it. Carol 21 in the black book. Of course, this year, I had to be standing in the line for communion! No book for the words (but once I hear the first line I know what the rest of the verse goes like), in full view of the whole congregation! But that's not what Silent Night is about. It is about belting it out loudly up to Heaven. It is about singing the words in your heart. It is about showing reverance for God and greatfulness for Jesus. It is about raising vioces up to Heaven, more enthusiastically than ever before.

Holy, holy, holy Lord
God of power and might!
Heaven and Earth are full of Your glory,
Hosanna! in the highest!

(- that is not Silent Night but is what we pray after communion.)

After, I wished my friends a Merry Christmas (David told our curate off for saying Happy Christmas lol) and exchanged presents with Jennifer and Karen. Then I headed home.

I got into bed after sprinkling some reindeer food so that Santa would call. I wrote a poem. I read two pages of Nineteen Eighty-Four then decided it was time to sleep. It had been time to sleep since about ten o'clock I was that tired, but at one I decided to close my eyes...

I dreamt of Christmas.

I awoke, knowing that it was nowhere near the ten o'clock lie in I'd hoped for (today is my only lie in before the end of my exams) and turned on my phone. Sure enough, 0758. I was annoyed. I dozed until 0830, then slept until 0924. It was a broken sleep though, so I still feel tired and grumpy, but I got up when I knew I could face people without snapping; today is not the day for that.

I went downstairs and sat by the fire eating toast and stroking the cat whilst my parents opened their presents. They seemed to like them, though dad uttered the usual, "what on earth am I gona to with that" in the grumpy way he sometimes does. It sets my teeth on edge every time. I know he didn't mean it though. He got me some pretty pointless gifts too but for once I'm gona attempt to use them!

The cat was unusually interested in Christmas this year; he usually sits on the floor, complaining that I got him trapped in the front room, but this year I brought his new bed in and plonked him down on that. He seemed to enjoy it. Of course he also enjoys the fire, he likes to stare at it as if hypnotised...

I opened my presents and was ecstatically pleased with everything :) Everything was either practical or something I can use, like dvds or books. And yes there is a difference between "practical" and something I can use... the former being something like jumpers and bath stuff etc, the latter being cds, books, dvds etc.

Then I had to pick up my aunt and her partner (they have no car). We don't usually have them round on Christmas day, they usually spend it at my other aunt's house and we have the grandparents, but my other aunt is really sick at the moment so she cancelled Christmas :( So there were seven of us round the table instead of just six (yes I know we had two extra people this year, but we also lost a regular; my third aunt didn't get enough time off work to come home from England this year). It was a tight squeeze but we managed!

Just a note on how wonderful my mum is. She cooks the entire Christmas dinner, usually for six people. This year she immediately, on hearing my aunt is ill, invited Lorraine and Brian over. Not only that, but last night a thought struck her. My elderly neighbour is very ill at the moment too, so my mum decided to cook extra lunch for the neighbour's daughter who would otherwise have had no turkey or anything (what is the point in buying a turkey to feed one person?) So my mum, who usually cooks for six on this wonderful day, ended up cooking for eight and we still had food to spare!

My granda seems to be a lot better :) He wouldn't stop eating today which is unusual for him this year :) Apparently he's eaten a whole Christmas cake in the course of this week and wants more! Hooray for granda!

I think that's all I had to say. I am posting something later, well in the next week, about Clare's present to me.

Oh, and to finish, Clare and I have even more matching socks now!

I love the fire at Christmas, and the relaxing with non-alcoholic mulled wine after dinner. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Ross had been there.

[Untitled]

2008-12-24T19:25:00.004Z

because I forgot the amazing title I thought of earlier :( I knew I should've written it down...

I feel in such a Christmassy mood right now!!! I have nineteen presents under the tree (well there are two in my room but they will make it under the tree before the night's over), I just watched Miracle on 34th Street followed by Shrek the Halls (I think Donkey got a little confuzzled, I quote, "Have you trimmed your stockings, hung your chestnuts and roasted your tree??"), I'm eating a candy cane (although it's some tropical fruit flavour that turned my lips blue, rather than traditional peppermint) I have no revision to do until Friday, it's cold (I can't feel my toes!), oh the list is endless.

Tonight is rather hectic, as is usual for Christmas Eve; I have to wrap the parents' presents, I have to wrap Jennifer & Karen's presents before I see them at church. I'm waiting for Ross to phone :P

Ross, you are an idiot! And I mean that in the nicest possible way. I mean, last night when I asked you to phone; even though I told you the other day that my money on my phone is running out, you still texted me to ask could it not wait until today! You could have phoned to ask :P Oh and of course ten minutes later you phone as I'm half way down the escalator to the basement, where there's no signal :P Ah funny stuff.

How does one pretend to be an elephant???
I'll tell you how I tried last night...

Take your left hand and hold it to your mouth, palm outwards. Take your right arm and swing it in front of your face whilst simultaneously wiggling your left fingers. Make sense? Of course not. I don't know why I do these things!

I keep longing for the day when I actually, for once, have someone special to share Christmas with. Special other than family special, or friend special, you know what I'm talking about.

I do have someone special, someone very special, but it's another twenty-two days before I'll see him again, and Christmas Day is tomorrow :(

That's the only thing getting me down, which for me, is pretty good going :)

I'm actually not stressing about exams or anything, I'm getting on with things as if I've always been at uni. Though, I am stressing about next term's modules... do I stick with what I've chosen? Do I change to Religious Studies? Do I take Greek as an overload? (Of course I'll take Greek, why wouldn't I?!) Aaaahhhh!!!!!!

I love Christmas :)
I love church on Christmas Eve :)
- one year, it snowed as we were leaving :)
I love how it's the one day in the year when there can be a guaranteed day of not fighting :)
I love the surprises I get from friends :)
I love the trifle :)
I love the fire :)
I love the mini snowman I made one year :)
I love the tree :)
I love my stocking :)
I love the food :)
I love the parties :)
I love the people :)

~I love the spirit :)~

On Being Ill

2008-12-15T11:21:00.003Z

Ugh.

I can't eat, I can't sleep and I've gone through half a box of tissues today alone. I have an essay to write that I can't concentrate on and it really doesn't help that the books I got from the library don't have much relevence to what I thought they would. I'm trying to find things on Google Book Search but apparently the only good things are snippet views only. I need to go to sleep, but I can't because I need to do this essay; I'm just looking to pass this time, but that still means I need to finish it.

My FreeCell stats have gone down again :(

My room kinda smells a bit iffy, but it's too cold to open the window.

I haven't washed in two days :P and my hair is so greasy :( but I feel like a shower soon! There's someone in it at the minute, so I'll wait for them to finish.

I'm not going to any classes today, I relaxed this morning and I need to do the essay. Although, I haven't eaten anything because I can't, so I'm too hungry to concentrate. I can't even eat my advent calendar chocolate :( I want some grapes!

I need to go to Hubgrub tonight so I can try to eat something today, but I don't really want to be around for the secret santa. I just want to eat then go back to bed. Maybe I'll go down later, when dinner's nearly finished. I dunno. We shall see.

Ross' play was awesome on Saturday, though I was ill then too. But I still enjoyed it :)

Despite the illness and essay, I feel very happy :)

Note to Self

2008-12-13T15:19:00.001Z

Don't kiss sick people.

I'm going to bed.
At 3.20PM not am as this thing will tell you

Christmassyness!

2008-12-12T23:35:00.003Z

It is finally getting nearer; twelve days to go.

We had Christmas dinner at Hubgrub last night; I won, how many, three crackers...? :P twas awesome. Ross and I handed out 15s, he was wearing my santa hat and I my musical headgear and people thought it was cute. Kate keeps calling us 'adorable' hehe.

Tonight was the carol service; it was totally awesome, we (the band) totally rocked! People cheered after A Christmas Festival and were clapping along with the Jingle Bells part of it. We had pretty much a full turn out at the 8oclock one (there was one at 6 as well). I thought that no-one I knew would be coming (cept Karen but she's a friend from home rather than a friend from uni) but then Sam and Tom (new Tom, not original Tom) were there. And I saw Becca at the end.

Three cheers for Christmas!
Hip Hip... Horay!
Hip Hip... Horay!
Hip Hip... Horay!

Late nights and early mornings

2008-12-11T12:35:00.000Z

Are not a good combination!

Business

2008-12-10T21:17:00.002Z

Why is it that the last two weeks of term are ALWAYS the busiest, no matter what?!

I have three Philosophy readings this week instead of just one, I have one more essay due in plus another Religion reading to do, I'm playing at the CU Carol Service on Friday, meaning I can't do anything else from 4pm onwards, I'm going to see Ross' play on Saturday night (so looking forward to it!), I hope to return to church on Sunday morning, I'm cooking on Sunday night (well; pizza but I'm making it!) blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Clare, I'm writing your letter next!

I need a Christmas timetable sorted out...

I'm Hungry :(

2008-12-05T11:00:00.002Z

and I have to wait a whole two hours before lunch!

My chicken was stolen out of the fridge the other night, partying people... I must remember to get something for dinner, since I miss Hubgrub every Friday due to the CU Carol Service orchestra rehearsals. Ah well. I have pasta, but no sauce as of yet. Or do I?

*runs to cupboard*

Hhhmmm you know what? I actually do :) yay!

Oh sugarlumps I think I said I'd cook on Sunday, I'm not prepared. At all.

My essay's done :):):) but I forgot to top up my priner credit! lol oh well

Essays

2008-12-02T13:41:00.002Z

They finally found my first essay, in the middle of the Islamic studies ones. Silly system.

I got 14 (out of 20; 14 is the exact middle band), which isn't too bad for a first essay, but I thought I was going to do really well in it and his comments were a little harsh. He told us not to do any research around the topic, he told us just to look at the source we had been given and base everything on that. Which is exactly what I did. Then he commented that basically I should have taken into account examples not given in the text.

On the up side, I got 18 for the Islam one :)

This Hinduism one is going to do my head in. I didn't get ANYTHING planned over the weekend even though I explicitly told my mother I would have to work on it and she still had me running everywhere. And now I'm sick. And it's due in on Friday, meaning I'm going to get about, oh em, one draft done...

Then one more essay to go in two weeks from now.
Then I'll be home again.

Sundays, sunday school, sermons and studies

2008-11-30T17:35:00.004Z

Well, not much of any of the three was done today (well I suppose technically Sunday was).

I reluctantly got up after much procrastinating and still made it to church about 20mins early. I drove, listening to Disney's "A Family Christmas" I think it's called; an old cassette tape from the first time we went to America (I was six :P)

Turns out it wasn't my minister's last service, it was just the last sermon he'll be giving, but he'll have retired by the time I get home again. After, he thanked me for coming and for my few years of (albeit reluctantly) violining occasionally. Chris was saxophoning at the start and it really set a good mood. Noel talked about his first sermon, and finished with his favourite prayer, the one where the person is praying to the Lord about not having enough time to pray and then he has no more ti-... yeah. I like it too, it's quite... erm... sombre? I duno. I wished him a happy retirement and then headed off for my cuppa between services, where I told Georgie (the wonderful lady I help out at Sunday School) about Ross. She's excited and happy for me :P

The kids didn't seem too excited to see me (to be fair there were a few new ones this year) but little Jonathan high-fived me! Darren seemed quite relaxed about me being back too; he's usually an exciteable wee thing (for the record, Darren's 22 and finishing a law degree at Queen's. He's not one of the kids :P)

I came home via Burger King and then went to the Grandparents. Did some technical stuff for them (will elaborate in a min) and chatted over another cuppa. Twas good. Kinda scary driving on the motorway after 2months, but I got used to it after about 10seconds.

Mum drove home, then we went into the neighbours'. Chatted for a bit then we got a chinese for dinner. I'm gonna finish that now then go down to Clare's. I still need to pack and do my Greek homework but oh well.

I have been quite technically productive this weekend. Last night I fixed the printer; today I got the grandparents' new dvd player working (no-one else had been able to) and I also set their clock to the right time (apparently no-one else on the whole planet knows how to set it, so it's been out since the clocks went backwards last month!). Hhm, on that note, I should fix the microwave clock now before I forget (same reason as the other clock).

Adios!

Good Morning, Belfast!

2008-11-29T11:51:00.002Z

The original feelings of oddness have gone :)

I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw was the poster beside my bed and I suddenly remembered I was home. And it's all ok again.

Our wall has turned from white to mint green since I left :S not sure how I feel about that really.

Still haven't met the new neighbours.

I'm going to meet Clare for lunch in about 40mins, then cinema with mum to see City of Embers, then home for food and some Greek before table quiz at Clare's church. I wonder who all'll be there? Whether I decide to go to Focus or not tomorrow night is very much dependent on who all is there tonight. As much as I want/need to do a lot of work, I also want to see everyone. We'll see how it goes! At least I get to see Clare whether or not I go to Focus. I also have to find time to phone Ross. At this rate it might be after the quiz instead of before, but I will still phone!

I had better go, gotta change into something warmer (I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in literally MONTHS!) then get the bus. The 1215 should get me in by 1230, but I'd like to get to the stop about 1205 because I can't remember if there is actually a 1215, it may well be 1210. Ah well we'll see.

On Returning Home

2008-11-28T18:27:00.004Z

This is weird.

My brain is oh so very confused at the minute.

A few weeks ago, I started calling my room at uni, "home". So this morning I left "home" in order to come home. On Monday I am going back "home" and in less than three weeks after that I'll be home again. Then I'm returning "home" in January until Easter when I come back home. I go "home" again, do a few exams and return home until September when the whole thing starts all over again. Hhm.

It's weird.

Every Christmas when my aunt returns home (she lives just outside London) I think, "Yay she's coming home again, I'll see her on Christmas Day". Now I'm the one returning home, after only two months, and I actually experience what it's like from this side of the spectrum. I practically ran off the plane in Dublin (where it is oh so very warmer than Aberdeen, which is about the same temperature as Belfast at the minute). Belfast is gloomy. I wandered around the Christmas market with mum, went to the bookshop to say hi, then drove home with mum & dad. Already everything's normal. After even just typing this, I'm used to the computer again and my fingers are used to the new keyboard and mouse (our old mouse was the original we got when we got our first computer I think, way back in 1999 or 1998 or some time around then).

It's weird.

I'm only home and I want to go back. Purely because I need to work on an essay and stay on top of everything else (I would say, "because I miss everybody there", which is oh so very true, but then of course what about Clare, and what about my family? Of course I miss them too).

It's not so weird...

... missing Ross. It's inevitable. More than inevitable, really. It hurts. It's like another form of homesickness.

I need to work.

Ross.

2008-11-25T20:45:00.003Z

The more time I spend with this boy, the more I realise that age (in the maturity sense; I prefer the term age) is not dependent on how much time one has spent as a fully fledged member of this planet. It is, instead, dependent on how many experiences one has had, the varying degrees of each experience and the effect of each experience on oneself.

I can only conclude this;

you, sir, are older than I.

My 100th Post

2008-11-23T12:05:00.003Z

This is a very momentous occasion for me; I started this blog two years ago I think it was, and only now am I getting to my hundredth post. Don't go thinking you're any better than me for this fact alone, R, I blame my pathetic home internet connection.

Aaaaanyways, to get to the point, the main body of the post.

Hinduism

Hinduism cannot really be called a religion as such, but I won't bore you with the details. The Hindu... erm... belief system? No it can't really be called that either, well whatever it is, it has some quite intrinsically amazing ideas.

The guru, Sivaya Subramuniyaswami, American by birth and Shaiva Hindu by initiation, wrote this for the November 1996 issue of Hinduism Today;

Rishis believe that we are not our body, mind or emotions. We are divine souls on a wondrous journey. We came from God, live in God and are evolving into oneness with God. We are, in truth, the Truth we seek.

We are immortal souls living and growingin the great school of earthly experience in which we have lived many lives. Vedic rishis have given us courage by uttering the simple truth, "God is the Life of our life." A great sage carried it further by saying, there is one thing God cannot do: God cannot separate Himself from us. This is because God is our life. God is the life in the birds. God is the life in the fish. God is the life in the animals.

Being aware of this Life energy in all that lives is becoming aware of God's loving presence within us. We are the undying consciousness and energy flowing through all things.

--------------------------------------

The Lord, according to the Ramayana (series of stories about the life of the deity Rama), manifests in five forms;

i)The supreme transcendental form

ii)Its emanations

iii)The heart or self of each individual

iv)As the inner controller of the universe

v)As the divine presence within the consecrated icon (though this one condones what in my mind is idolatry)

The soul, in Hindu tradition, does not die. "It cannot be pierced, it cannot be burned, it cannot be wetted, it cannot be parched. It is invariable, everywhere, fixed, immovable, eternal" (Bhagavad-gita 2.24)

Krishna, on action, "A man does not attain freedom from the results of action by abstaining from actions, and he does not approach perfection simply by renunciation" (ibid 3.4)

One should be satisfied in the self, offering action and its fruits as a sacrifice to the Lord. This is the discipline of karma yoga. (A certain letter from Paul springs to mind)

I don't know, I just thought these were some lovely points to note.

Uni-ness

2008-11-20T10:48:00.002Z

I supposedly had a ten o'clock lecture on Hinduism this morning. I say, "supposedly" because, well, Will (the lecturer) never showed up. About half the class left at twenty past (personally I would have wated until ten thirty before protesting) then someone phoned his office... no answer. The same person phoned the Divinity and Religious Studies office... oh he hasn't showed up has he? We don't know where he is... take the register and go home... oh half the class has left have they? Well we'll pretend it never happened then. So we left. A half hour's break does one the world of good on a Thursday morning, especially considering I was productive in the Greek sense at 9am.

The next post may take a while to write; I may end up just editing this post over and over again to include more stuff. The next post is my hundredth so I want to make it special. I know exactly what I'm going to include, I just haven't quite worked out how to write it yet. Oh well, I must go start my Philosophy essay, time is of the essence!

2wks ago I wrote an essay, last week I sat an exam, this week I'm writing another essay, next week I'm writing another essay and the week after I'm writing another essay and then its Christmas. Far far too hectic! Such is life. I'm hungry... hhmmm.

I GOT NINETEEN!!!!!

2008-11-18T14:51:00.001Z

I am so smart... s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-a-r-t

(That'll only make sense if you've seen a certain Simpsons episode)

When Getting Things Perfect Means a Lack of Sleep

2008-11-17T12:23:00.001Z

I actually have nothing to write, I just wanted to state what the title says.

Timetables

2008-11-16T23:32:00.001Z

I have just redone my timetable and it appears to not only include more scheduled breaks, but also more scheduled work. In the same amount of space. I'm not sure how that works.

Thankyou Clare :)

2008-11-16T20:33:00.001Z

You.

Are.

Awesome.

:)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-15T12:47:00.001Z

*end scream*

It is half past midnight

2008-11-12T00:34:00.002Z

Well, slightly after half past. 1am is rapidly encroaching and I just finished my second essay of this term. I feel quite joyous. Or should that be joyful? I don't really care, they both have joy in them and that's what I feel! I'm not even going to edit it, I re-read it when I finished typing it and it seems good, albeit 20% over the word limit but oh well. There's actually nothing I can do about that, I've tried.

Not that it took 2hrs to finish it, I read some Hinduism stuff too. And made notes on it. I dunno, I just felt restless when I got ready for bed. I have a Greek exam in a few hours (11am) and I'm rather looking forward to it, no matter what I said earlier. Yes, I'm still scared about messing it up, but I know that I've worked really hard on the chapter 1-4 stuff; chapter 5 is a bit beyond me at the minute, but hopefully something will click soonish :) I have every faith that it will. I need to do more work, but right now I'm finding it as tedious as Maths was the other year... eugh.

Well, all that remains to be said is... nighty night!
(Well, "Good morning" really)

sigh

2008-11-11T20:24:00.002Z

Right now I am sitting in Ross' room while he does some mediciney stuff. No idea what, some tutorial questions he forgot about. I should have done more Greek. But I didn't. I should have finished the first draft of my essay. But I didn't. I should be doing some Greek right now. But I'm not. Quite frankly, I'm too tired. And I haven't even done that much today. Except get up early for once, at half past seven. But I was happy this morning so I wasn't just going to lie there and let another breakfastless day pass me by. pfft.

Hehe at breakfast this morning, Will was moaning about something and Ross was saying he was in a really happy mood etc etc & looked it, then Lisa said to me, "Gemma, what did you say to him?" ah dear :P

I'm bored. Oh so very bored. I might actually get the Greek out now.
Siagnora!

Essay Time!

2008-11-09T16:08:00.002Z

Just had a very productive hour and a half. A bit too productive, though, and I didn't think such a thing existed. My essay is nowhere near done but my introduction alone is 350 words. It's only a 1000 word essay and there's still a conclusion to be put at the end! Argh!

(8 more posts to go until my 100th!)

PS- I'm not texting very much this week, less than a pound on the phone and O2 should be giving me £15 at the weekend for staying faithful to them when I got my new phone.

Concentration

2008-11-08T10:42:00.003Z

is not happening right now.

This week has been rather eventful, but not very study-productive :( (but :) at the same time) I'm just going to disregard this week's lack of studying until further notice. Except of course the essay I am, as we speak, writing. Or meant to be at any rate. And then there's the Grrrrreek exam next week. The words just won't stay in my head. I guess I'm still trying to re-adjust to study mode, after a glorious year of doing nothing. Studywise that is. It's just this essay that's slowing me down, my notes for it are in no sort of order and so far I've been very biased towards what I want the conclusion to be rather than weighing up all the information first. I need to write it TODAY. It doesn't help that my desk is a mess. I should really go to the library, but my washing will be out of the tumble dryer in about 15mins. And then it's lunch time at noon anyways, so by the time I get my clothes outta the dryer, work out which ones need a bit more drying time on the washing line, then get back into study mode, there'll be about 40mins to go anyway. And I need to work through my hour break just after lunch because Jess may or may not be coming over at roughly 4:30. *sigh* calm. Calm.

The fireworks were awesome on Wednesday; I haven't really been out much in the evenings so it was good to go out for a bit. We went to the beach and got all sandy and wet. Well, others did; I was sensible enough to think of changing into my walking boots :P but then I had to wash them because they were covered in sand and grass when we got back. And that was Wednesday. And now it's Saturday. And things are different. And things have changed. And it feels better than it did before. But I need to realise when to use my will power and just GO TO BED! I do have will power, I just constantly choose not to use it. Which never works out for the best, though it may seem great at the time. Right now, I just want to write.

My Freecell stats are unchanging, but I'm losing more in the last few days :( but it hasn't affected the percentage wins and losses :)

The cat was around this morning after breakfast, he nearly came inside... he likes me :) he lets me stroke him and tickle him and scratch him :) I hope Pinkie does when I get home. Hmmm I'll be home in 3wks :) then again in about 3 after that. That'll be odd and hard, gone from here for a month. But it'll be good and fun to see everyone again and tell them things and hear what they've all been up to :)

My drying will be done in five minutes. So I'll try and sort my RE notes after that and then I'll have lunch and wash my dishes in preparation for pizza tonight. I might watch Neighbours too, I'm two episodes behind. I should read some RE stuff. But I don't want to. Because I'm still working on last week's RE. But I should leave last week where it is and focus on this coming week. But I don't want to. It's just one of those tiring days. You know, when you didn't sleep enough a few nights ago and finally caught up last night, you just feel content with doing nothing for a day. But I can't afford the time to rest. Even though I've done nothing all day. But oh well.

There's floor dust on my laptop now. It gets blooming everywhere. My cream bedsocks are now brown and I've only had them on for like a day. I hope I can concentrate over Christmas to work properly. If I do 5hrs a day before dinner then that'll do me and I can go out with people afterwards. Can't wait to meet up with everyone again. I would start a list of names but no doubt I'll forget someone, and even though I'm pretty sure only two people read this, I'd still feel guilty. I'm hungry again.

Right the drying will be done!
*rushes off downstairs*

There Comes a Time

2008-11-04T16:40:00.003Z

... when it's better for everyone if one gives up on Greek and just pretends the last hour or so never happened argh!

Musings

2008-11-03T12:18:00.002Z

About a month ago I was thinking how extraordinarily weird it was that I was now blogging every day.

Now, I'm thinking how extraordinarily weird it is that I didn't blog yesterday.

humpf.

Don't really know what to write...
Listening to some awesome music; Superman by Five for Fighting, then Oh What a Beautiful Morning from Oaklahoma, then The Importance of Being Idle by Oasis and now Back Home by Yellowcard.

I can smell feet. I think it's a mixture of whatever someone was microwaving in the kitchen 5mins ago and the fact that it was too cold to open my window this morning to air my room... all stuffy. And I didn't shower today so my feet probably smell :P I say way too much sometimes.

Met all of this morning's targets, and I even finished off yesterday's work! Well a bit more of yesterday's to go, but that can wait until after Greek and the planning of my second RE essay. The second of four, nearly there! Though there's a Philosopy essay coming up soon too so I really have 5, but oh well. Philosophy's easy so I'm looking forward to that one. I reckon I'll do the abortion question purely to annoy him; he's pro-choice and I'm pro-life (though, well not getting into anything now, there are maybe a small small handful of situations where it may be justified; I'm very much a consequentialist when it comes to morality. Absolute principles simply don't exist), he said he hates all pro-lifers and whilst he sides with the pro-choicers, when it comes down to it he's actually even more extreme with the pro-death view which I think is unneccesarily extreme... basically he thinks all women ought to have an abortion if they become pregnant. He hates people and thinks the world would be better off without them. Being a Christian, I naturally think otherwise, though in some ways the world WOULD be better off without people but again let's not get into it now.

I just feel like typing random stuff now... OH I remember what I meant to do... chesk the recipe for 15s, need to get the ingrediants but that can wait till Wednesday (my afternoon off).

digestives, cherries (that are being substituted for chocolate chips since SOMEBODY doesn't like cherries), marshmallows (hang on you don't like marshmallows either, do you? Is there a point in me making these any more? Way to be awkward :P), condensed milk and coconut.

I might go read for a half hr while I finish my lunch.
Hasta tarde!

A Life Lesson

2008-11-01T16:11:00.001Z

Never skip breakfast on a Saturday morning and then try to do three hours work before noon. It never works out too well.

On the upside, I now have a new phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When will I find time to get it working, though? :S

Songs that mean something.

2008-10-30T23:17:00.005Z

Peter Pan:

Think of the happiest thing, it's the same as having wings, think of all the joy you find, when you leave the world behind, and bid your fears goodbye... you can fly, you can fly, you can FLY!

Pocahontas:

... but people I guess can't live like this, we all must pay a price, to be safe we lose our chance of ever knowing... what's around the riverbend?

The Rembrandts:

No-one could ever know me, no-one could ever see me, seems you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me, someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with, someone I'll always laugh with, even at my worst I'm best with you

Duke Special:

Last night I nearly died, but I woke up just in time

:)

Annoyance... or is it?

2008-10-30T09:11:00.002Z

This morning I woke up. (duh...) and I thought oh dear, I woke up BEFORE my alarm clock again... I'll just doze for a wee bit with my head under the quilt so it doesn't scare me when it decides to wake me up. I dozed fr a while so naturally I thought I must have woken up about 6 o'clock (my alarms were set for 7:30 to get up and 8:00 to put my washing in the machine). Try as I might, I could not get back to sleep :( Then something odd happened... I heard Mark emerge from his room. Now, I usually only hear him when he goes down for breakfast about 7:45 and that's kinda my cue to get up if I haven't already... so I thought 'What's going on...' then it occured to me that I also heard someone coming UP the stairs about 10 or 15mins ago. Could it be, that at that point, I heard Mark leaving... could it be that he'd already been down for breakfast? I turned my phone on... 8:20am... checked the alarms, still telling me thay were gona go off at 7:30 and 8:00. I was tres anoyed. Glad I don't have a 9o'clock lecture, but annoyed nonetheless. I missed breakfast. Also missed my slot in the shower.

But then I read my Word for Today

"Feelings can be misleading 30 Oct 2008

'BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU THINK.' PROVERBS 4:23

A Christian writer says, 'For many years I lived according to my feelings. It was like riding a roller coaster; one day laughing and feeling good, the next crying and feeling sorry for myself. I was being tormented and controlled. I needed emotional maturity, but I needed God's help to attain it. It's easy to fall into the trap of believing your fickle feelings more than what God says in His Word. And it will take a constant act of your will to choose to do things His way rather than your own. But when you do, you'll discover that life is more enjoyable when you're living according to God's plan.' Just as you don't let everybody who knocks on your door come in and make themselves at home, don't let every emotion that surfaces dictate the direction of your day or decide your responses. The Bible says, 'Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life' (Proverbs 4:23 NCV); 'Capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ' (2 Corinthians 10:5 NCV); if it doesn't line up with God's Word, don't think it. Paul says, 'We walk by faith, not by sight' (2 Corinthians 5:7), because (and this may come as a surprise) you won't always feel God's presence. After the crucifixion two disciples were walking along the Emmaus Road when Jesus came up and walked along with them. But they didn't recognise who He was. They didn't know the leader they'd followed for three years because sh He appeared...in a different forms (Mark 16:12 TM). God is a God of faith and He works in ways that faith, not feelings, can discern."

And this is actually the second day in a row that book has meant something to me in particular rather than life in general... take yesterday (I'm annoyed I only read it at midnight between yesterday and today)

"'This is the day' 29 Oct 2008
'THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE; WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.' PSALM 118:24
Some days the road seems too long and the climb too steep. Max Lucado describes them as days when 'Hope is Hindenberged by crisis. You never leave the hospital bed or wheelchair. You wake up in the same prison cell, the cemetery dirt is still fresh, the pink slipP45 still folded in your pocket, the other side of the bed still empty. "This is the day" includes divorce days, final-exam days, surgery days, tax days, sending-your-firstborn-off-to-college days. God made this day. He knows the details of each wrenching moment. He isn't on holiday. He still holds the conductor's baton, sits in the cockpit, and occupies the universe's only throne. "We will rejoice and be glad in it!" Oops, there's another word we'd like to edit: in. Perhaps we could swap it for after? Or through, or over. "I'll rejoice when this day ends!" Paul rejoiced in prison. David wrote psalms in the wilderness; Paul and Silas sang in jail; the Hebrew children remained resolute in the fiery furnace; John saw heaven in his exile, and Jesus prayed in the garden of pain. You no longer have yesterday. It slipped away as you slept. You don't yet have tomorrow. You can't spend its money, celebrate its achievements or resolve its riddles. Days are bite-sized portions of life: 84,000 heartbeats, 1,440 minutes, a rotation of the earth, a sunrise and sunset, a gift of 24 unlived, unexplored hours. And if you can stack one good day on another, you'll link together a good life. "This is the day," live in it.'"

So, today, I'm not starting the day in an annoyed mood, rather I'm rejoicing in the fact I didn't get up early.

When you qualify...

2008-10-29T23:47:00.003Z

... it's not daily hugs that you should prescribe, it's daily hugs with someone who cares for you and someone who you care for. That's what makes a hug a cure :)

Also, I reckon next time it's your turn to come visit me! Though you don't have a key but oh well I'm sure you'll get in somehow :P

I hate not being able to text anyone!

Birthday Fun

2008-10-28T21:30:00.002Z

I realise I have not blogged about my twentieth birthday :P

Well...

I told Mark and John when I still had 45mins left of being nineteen. John then texted me at midnight :)
"happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday dear gemma,
happy birthday to you, hip hip hooray :-) have a great day"

Nobody brought me breakfast in bed :( but oh well I've already had that once here... freshers week i think :P

Then, hhmmm... oh yeah I had a ten o'clock lecture, then I went to Karen's for lunch (pasta and wouldn't u know it, a spicy sauce... I really do attract them don't I?! :P) and cake yum! Quick power-walk back just in time for my 1pm tutorial, then what did I do? I can't remember, all I remember is not being able to find time to open presents until 4pm!

I got lots of lovely things; including a webcam from my darling future wife! Then Stephen, Kathy, Ross and I headed to the Manchurian chinese restaurant yum yum :) Then back to Stephen's room for cake, twister and chatting with Cat and Rory and Jenna. Good times :) Funny Twister moments :P

Tried to get the webcam to work but failed miserably... Trying again as I type but it's not happening... well it works, just not with MSN :( Maybe AOL has the answer...

Oh and... argh you're annoying! Seriously, the second I open my mouth to say "I'm gonna head to bed" you just have to go and get there first, so then it looked like I was leaving because you were leaving :P

Oh and I broke my phone... dropped it THREE times successively but it broke on the second time! The first time I actually sent it flying across the room so that was probably what did it. I can do everything except text people :( oh well going into town tomorrow to get someone to look at it.

Twas, all in all, a lovely evening/night :)

Really Quite... Annoyed (?)

2008-10-28T12:19:00.003Z

My bread went all mouldy today, even though it was only supposed to go out of date today. I have no turkey left because the only place I can find to get it is Morrisons and I can't be bothered to trek all the way down there just yet, but I'll be in town tomorrow.

My room needs a tidy; everything's kinda on the bed and the chairs and the desk because the cleaner had to hoover.

I miss my family. I'm not actually consciously thinking, "I miss them" but there's that feeling one gets, you know? Sort of that sagging feeling around the heart.

On the up sides, saw Stardust last night at the Mission. Twas muy bueno :) albeit it slightly predictable! But after the technical difficulties were worked out, (lost the sound somehow!) it perked up muchly.

I've been productive today even though I'm very very tired. I'm meeting all my targets recently which is very good; got a Greek test tomorrow so I hope it goes well. It means a couple of extra hrs of working tonight but it'll be worth it in the end. Though it means I can't go out with the fiddle group to a performance but since I've only been to one practise I think that's for the best really.

I can't remember what else I was gonna type here... Oh well, got a lecture at one anyways and I'm trying to do 3 things at once so I guess I'll finish up here. Oh no wait!

IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Apparently it snowed in Belfast this morn, mum texted me as she got on the plane. Actually were they flying from Belfast or Dublin? I can't remember. Well, I never actually asked or was told.

It's flippin freezin here. Last night when we were walking back, all of a 5min walk, I cannot ever remember feeling that cold. It's not even funny. And now there's a big fight on Neighbours; doing wonders for the feelings right now.

I can't even begin to express what's on my mind at the minute.
Hugs for all.

Love Always,
Gemma :)

Stupid Fire Alarms

2008-10-26T09:12:00.002Z

Messed up my sleeping pattern... AGAIN.

As if it's not bad enough that the clocks went back...

I got to hold the board again! And Mark got lost :P I was waving the board at him and he couldn't see it... walked the whole way round the room before he found us... in the same place we always are!

Hubgrub at noon, woo!

Don't let these things scare you.

2008-10-25T18:43:00.002+01:00

Part of being human is to judge and to presume to know things when one doesn't have all of the facts.

Maybe when the fear is realised, something can be done about it?

Maybe when the fear is realised, it will become more obvious if it happens again?

Maybe when the fear is realised, one will notice it more, and train oneself to stop?

It's ok.

We're In Business!

2008-10-24T22:01:00.002+01:00

http://gatluae.blogspot.com/
enjoy!

I love Clare.

2008-10-23T15:25:00.000+01:00

She's the most amazing person I know. I think she should become the ruler of the world, or perhaps even the universe, because she's just that wonderful.

-----------------------------------------------

PS- I still haven't opened any presents, so I apologise, that's why I haven't thanked you yet. lol. *rushes off to open pressies* :P

oops.

2008-10-22T00:23:00.001+01:00

I had a brilliant post all lined up for right now, but wouldn't you know it I forgot.

I edited Stephen's essay today, made me feel important :P

what was that post?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! :(

it was perfect.

Under Pressure!

2008-10-21T09:12:00.002+01:00

I thought today I would post something a little different. I read it and thought, wow. Seriously, with Romania and Moldova and Summer Madness and Streetreach and Africa and Uni and A Levels and EVERYTHING else like that, the amount of times this excerpt has proved true in my life...

Taken from UCB's The Word For Today
Tuesday October 21st 2008

"'We are pressed... but not... broken' 2 Corinthians 4:8 TLB

Do you feel like you're in a tunnel with no way out? Rejoice; you're positioned for a miracle! Paul said, "are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.' A certain amount of pressure is necessary to release our faith and God knows exactly how much to apply. He allows us to get to where; a) we've exhausted our own resources, b) we're tired of satan stealing what God says is ours, c) the opinions of others no longer control us. It's the place Hannah found herself in when she prayed in the temple, 'And [Hannah] was in distress of soul, praying to the Lord and weeping bitterly' (1 Samuel 1:10 AMP). She was under such pressure because of her childless state that when she began to unburden herself before God, the church hierarchy thought she was drunk. But when you're desperate, you're not overly concerned about blowing the minds of religious onlookers; your only concern is touching the heart of God.

With God there are no hopeless situations, just people who've grown hopeless about them. Real faith comes into its own when push collides with shove. After all, you don't need God to part the Red Sea when there are bridges all around, right? It's when there's nothing you can do to avoid the inevitable, that you start trusting God to do the impossible! So the crisis you're experiencing today could be a blessing in disguise; an opportunity to experience a greater degree of His power at work in your life."

I think that was quite nice.

While we're on the topic, at church on Sunday the minister told an amusing joke...

Before woman was created, Adam was wandering around the Garden of Eden. There were all around him, animals of different sorts, but even so, he was still lonely. So he went to God and he said, "God, I'm lonely. Is there anything You can do for me?" And God said, "There is one thing... but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thought about this for a minute, then asked, "What would I get for a rib?"

Have a good day!

Funny conversations...

2008-10-20T23:42:00.002+01:00

I got into my room tonight sometime after 11pm. But well before 11.30.

Me: Hello
Mark: Hello! Where have you been all this time, then?
Me: Oh, at Ross'
John or Mary, I can't remember: I hope you haven't been distracting him from working!
Mark: Did he do any work?
Me: Eh, no.
*evil grins and smiles and raised eyebrows from all around*

Mary did participate in the conversation too, but I can't remember to what extent.

"Love Always,

2008-10-20T23:32:00.002+01:00

Charlie."

Only if you've read this book will you know what I truly mean. It's the only book I've read twice, and I did so over the summer, in less than 2weeks. I'm sorry it's so cryptic; but if you must get me anything then I'd rather I didn't know what to expect. Very egoistic of me, but can you see where I'm coming from? If you have to search the internet for more than 20mins then leave it and seriously I don't mind getting nothing. Honestly, the only thing I want for my birthday is a day (or evening or whatever, depending) that is for the main part, work-free, and that is spent enjoying the company of those here who mean something to me.

Love Always,
Gemma :)

PS- no hints from Clare!!!

PPS- I found in my mail a package with Clare-like writing on the address :P Thankyou, my dear! I take it it's not to be opened until Thursday?
xxx

More Strange Dreamings

2008-10-20T12:07:00.002+01:00

So. I'm back at home, in my bedroom. I find a wasp in the living room (which I can somehow see from my bedroom). I get mother to sort it out. She fails, but I don't realise this. I go downstairs to the living room and find mr waspy. I wake mum up to get him out, but as I do so, he dies on the stairs :( I spent the entire dream trying not to breathe on him for fear that he might be attratced to the carbon dioxide in my breath :P strange indeed.

Off to Greek!

Early riser...?

2008-10-20T07:11:00.003+01:00

I have been awake since roughly 5:30am. I am not amused, to say the least.
I decided at 6:30am to be productive. I started being productive at 6:50am. It is now 7:11am according to my phone and 7:12am according to my laptop. I'm sleepy but have to get up at 7:30am in order to have a productive day.

I also have to quit orchestra.

PS- DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO CHANGE THE DATE AND TIME ON THIS THING?!?!?!

Dreamings

2008-10-19T08:25:00.003+01:00

I had another dream last night (I've started remembering them again now that I'm thinking about them yay!) Woke up from it about an hour ago but only just remembered it now.

Ok, we'll start in real life, because that's where all my dreams seem to be based.

At the minute, I'm waiting to hear from someone (can't remember if they're a guy or a girl) if I can buy a Philosophy book off them for next term. They've said if no-one else gets back to them by tomorrow then it's mine. (They've got a few replies and replied to them but got no firm answer)

So. In the dream, I'm standing in a small circle of about 3 or 4 ppl including myself and Ross. Some guy whose name starts with a "G" comes over and discreetly hands Ross a "Knowledge and Mind" Philosophy textbook. I realise what's going on but am slightly confused because 1)Ross is doing medicine, 2)I never heard where or when the guy was going to meet me to sell his textbook and 3)He wandered off without payment.

I can't for the life of me remember what happened next, but I know something else did happen... hhmmm...

Shortly after, or maybe before, I had another dream.

I'm standing at the base of a huge cliff system, writing (well I think I was partly standing and partly sitting, I can't remember) my Philosophy notes. (Do you see a theme here...) I suddenly notice the tide is very much in. To the point where I highly doubt I'll be able to get back to my dad. Hhmmm I don't usually dream about the parents. Anyways, I say a little prayer and hope for the best. I actually waited a bit longer because I wanted to finish the notes. Workaholic? Hah! So, I'm trying to clamber around the base of the cliffs to find the way back up. I try going in a different door (yes of course cliffs have doors :P) and find myself in a corridor that is just round the corner and up some stairs from where I was headed... 'yes! thankYou!' I think and head on my way. The corridor was not unlike those in the MacRobert building, but slightly wider and a little blue. I wonder what it all means...

I should go shower.

Saturday Night

2008-10-19T00:51:00.005+01:00

One of the greatest feelings in the World, for me at least, is whenever you can show up on someone's doorstep feeling totally... something that I can't find the right word for... and knowing that they'll give you their undivided attention for a couple of hours, even if they have to get up early in the morning.

I'm starting to like long hugs as opposed to just plain hugs :P

It's great when you know you can say anything and you know that it's being listened to, not out of a sense of duty (though according to Kant that would be the only way to do it), but out of a sense of caring, and wanting to listen.

Thankyou; and sorry I kept you up late... again...

Things are starting to come together again. The Greek grammer is on the up side, but the Greek words need a lot of work at the minute. I've written out a timetable of my week; basically doing between 29 and 38hrs per week, including lecture and tutorial times. That'll be great if I can stick to it, but I don't know if I have the willpower. I can but try!

Thought: is it bad that I'm planning on working 6hrs on Sundays too? I've made time for a lie-in, brunch, tea and church... and I've given myself Thursday evenings totally free, and Wednesday afternoons, and the occasional hour throughout the week. I just wish I had a whole day, but oh well.

I should really go to bed, otherwise I'll be in no fit state for my 6hrs tomorrow!
And yes, everything will be alright in the end :)

click me

:)

Sometimes...

2008-10-19T00:50:00.001+01:00

... fun things become chores.

Why do we make them so???

Take Greek.

I love Greek. I kind of overworked during the first week and now I can't stand the amount of time I need to put into it.

Take writing. Like, poetry. Like, this blog.

I love writing. But these days, I don't even keep a diary because its so much work. There's just so much to put in it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... people need to talk in metaphors.

People get scared of what the truth could do, of where the truth could go.

As confusing as it may be (and I, too, hate it) sometimes it's necessary.
At least it may feel so at the time.
Metaphores are simply something to hide behind when all seems lost.
Sometimes it's good to look for the deeper meaning, but sometimes, just sometimes, people need to stop thinking and learn to take things at face value.

There I go again.

I had a strange dream last night

2008-10-18T09:39:00.002+01:00

that this coming week in RE would be spent watching videos.

that instead of required reading, we had required watching.

And now I feel upset because our readings are multiplying in such a way that I'm going to have to pretty much literally live in the library for the next three weeks and possibly more. This new teacher we're getting... don't like her.

While we're on the subject, dreams can be funny things.
I both love them and hate them at the same time (oh wouldn't you know it, I sound like Freud). What can seem like a lovely dream at the time, can lead to you waking up and thinking... "OH DEAR GOODNESS!!!" and you can be in shock for the whole of the day. Like a certain dream I had over a year ago that we won't go into any detail about here.

Or some dreams can leave you feeling so amazingly perfect, then as the day goes on, you realise that it was only a dream that won't come true. Like a dream I had shortly after arriving here that again we won't go into any detail about here.

Then we have nightmares. Let's not go there.

Lastly, dreams that leave you giggling for the rest of the day... riding through Whipsnade Zoo on the back of a kangaroo I think was my funniest dream. That was in primary school... surely I've had more funny ones since... hhmmm can't remember.

In my dreams, I have:

been chased by unicorns
had a glowing green hand on my bed
flown on a broomstick through my parents bedroom
gotton annoyed at my mum for reading ahead in the "new" Harry Potter book (it was new at the time... 2003!)
played with multicoloured hedgehogs
been attacked by baboons (yes I know that was real life too)
fallen off my Biology stool... repeatedly...
been in the Gryffindor Common Room at Hogwarts... that rapidly turned into my living room...
attempted simple mathematics, and actually got it right! (I checked when I woke up :P)

That's all I can remember for now...

Life.

2008-10-17T22:10:00.003+01:00

Can be confusing at the best of times.

I mean, you think you've got it all worked out, but when it comes down to it, no-one really has.

I don't really know quite where I'm going with this.

I shall maybe try and edit tomorrow, whenever I (hopefully) haven't been up for a 6am fire drill ugh!

It's also funny

2008-10-17T22:07:00.001+01:00

How, on reading an old poem from yonks ago, it can mean something similar again...

Birthdays

2008-10-17T08:46:00.002+01:00

I have just received a small box of birthday things from my parents and my neighbours.

I actually really want to go home.

Right.

2008-10-17T07:25:00.002+01:00

Ok.

Certain things are DISTRACTING ME FROM MY ESSAY!

I have half a sentence.

I guess I'll try again after breakfast (I only attempted at this early hour because we had our proper fire drill... I got to hold the board again :P)

Mark 4

2008-10-16T08:47:00.002+01:00

So, a little break from the norm this morn before I start writing my first essay. Last night at CU hall groups we studied Mark 4:1-34, so I thought I'd write about it here. I might even start a whole new blog...

Mark 4:1-34

The Parable of the Sower
Basically what this parable is saying is that when we hear the word of God we should be careful that the devil doesn't do everything within his power to take it away from us; believe me, he will try.

God is like the sower, planting the word in our hearts. The path symbolises the people who hear the word, but don't realise it, or don't want to hear it. They then present themselves as easy to have it snatched away from them by the birds (symbolising the devil).

The rocky ground symbolises those who hear the word and receive it willingly, joyfully; however at the first sign of trial they "leg it". Maybe this symbolises those of weak faith, who need a helping hand once in a while.

The thorns represent the cares and worries of our daily lives; materialistic concerns of this world. All the distractions that threaten to lead us away from God; in effect, everything. We need to remember to make time for Him, as much as we see fit for ourselves. Daily; every other day; weekly... set reasonable targets (something I have major problems with sometimes) and watch Him at work in your life. For He will come to those who call.

The good soil represents the strong believers of this world; they hear, receive, perceive the word and they never give up. They tell others, producing a crop themselves. These are the people whom the parables are for. Those who hear the word and think about it, and by doing so, understand it.

The Purpose of the Parables
Now this is a weird bit. v.10-12 seem to be saying that the disciples were the only people who were actually told the true meaning of the parables; the rest of the world was kept in the dark, deliberately. I think it really talks about the different types of people again. This time, it means that the parables are told for those who are willing to go and think about them. On first hearing we may not understand fully the message contained within them, so we need to go away and think about it, read it over again and really ask ourselves what is it all about?

Though, it could also mean that the parables are quite easy to understand, which is why Jesus didn't explain them to the ordinary people. Parables were a very effective teaching method in those days, according to my GCSE RE teacher. They were supposedly told in the language of the people, so that they wouldn't be left in the dark but would understand. Jesus does say in v.13, "Do you not understand this parable? How then will you understand all the parables?" as if to say, it's easy. He also hints that all we really have to do is to listen. "He who has ears to hear, let him hear" is stated twice; v.9 and v.23.

A Lamp Under a Basket
This one's easy. The light symbolises faith. We are told not to hide it away from others, but instead to proclaim our faith to those we meet. For if nobody knows what we stand for, who we represent here on this earth, what good will it do? Are we not put here for a purpose? Should we not tell people this purpose? We need to tell others so that we may grow in faith, which leads nicely on to the next two parables...

The Parable of the Growing Seed and The Parable of the Mustard Seed
The seeds that we plant in others can grow without our knowledge. Ever wonder what happened to the randomer on the street, who cried and accepted God right there and then, in front of you? Ever wonder about that person in school who you mentioned God to, then didn't see for months afterwards? Ever wonder what happened when you left that country over the summer; the children, their parents, the elderly? We may not know how our seeds grow, or even if they grow. Planting them is still the sim of the game.

With the mustard seed, I think this is symbolising growing in faith. It takes time (as in the Growing Seed) but it will happen. Something amazing will come out of this, the smallest seed on earth. Just watch.

No.

2008-10-15T23:30:00.004+01:00

It didn't work :(

I think

2008-10-15T23:30:00.001+01:00

I may finally have figured out how to change the timezone here...

*hopeful*

I just...

2008-10-15T22:44:00.003+01:00

... spilled my cough medicine ALL OVER MYSELF

Oh dear.

And

some drunk guys tried to break into my room when I was brushing my teeth; I didn't recognise their voices so I thought it's best not to investigate... luckily I had my door locked :P

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's also kinda funny, when two people decide to find each other at the same time, then one is so excited about finding the other that she whacks him with a swinging door... It would have been even funnier if I'd gone up the other staircase :P

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I had a really philosophical chat with Ricardo from Mexico this afternoon. The funny side was, "Save the Planet! - kill all humans" but there was one thing that really stuck out.

In some cultures, people are so touchy-feely that they hug strangers when they meet them, to say hello. In Mexico, common greeting for both strangers and friends alike, is a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. Now, Ricardo finds the UK closedness of strangers really hard to believe. Even the fact that we don't hug our friends EVERY time we see each other is weird for him.

Now, he said something that really made me think. Something I'd never thought about before like this.

God's love; the love that Jesus showed to the people.

The minister's handshake at the end of the service
The healing touch of Jesus
The way Jesus embraced the little children

Happiness is transferred through the medium of touch; a hug, a gentle embrace, a pat on the shoulder etc. Anger is also transferred through the medium of touch; a punch, a slap, a blow to the head.

Why is it that people are so intent on showing and sharing their anger rather than their happiness? Why don't more people embrace the stranger on the street (forget for the moment, the culture we live in)?

Hugs are good :) We do hug; we hug our friends, we hug our family... but we don't hug the random person we just met. We maybe don't hug those who really need it. We maybe miss these things. Free hugs? Such a good idea :)

The Bible preaches love for all as one of its themes. Can we put this into action? I doubt that I, for one, will start hugging the random people I pass on the street; they would probably run away, or knife me or something.

I just thought I'd point this out.
I probably didn't explain it very well.

Orange Juice and Fire Alarms

2008-10-14T04:12:00.002+01:00

are not a good combination...

I had a glass of orange juice sitting beside my bad, on the table, the fire alarm went off (Shortly before 4am! it is now 4.15am; I'm surprised I'm capable of typing), I reached over for my glasses, juice all over the floor! Could've been worse, I had books sitting beside the glass, could've damaged them but it didn't :)

Another two things that don't go well together; trainers and bare feet :P

Less people had found the time to get dressed this time

Oh and another thing... I lifted the board for the role call!!! yay I got to be semi-in-charge!

Right back to bed

It's Funny

2008-10-13T23:19:00.000+01:00

How an old blog post can suddenly mean something again...

Arabic...

2008-10-13T14:37:00.000+01:00

... is too messy.

I quit :P

It's all Greek to me!

2008-10-13T11:26:00.003+01:00

I have just speed-learned:

Fifteen verbs (nine "uo" and six "eo") and their endings;

Fourteen declining "os" nouns and their endings;

When to use which version of "the" (ho, he, to, hoi, ton, tous);

and two more declining nouns that have similar (but very distinctly different) meanings.

Needless to say, I'm rethinking the Arabic.

An Earlier Night than Usual

2008-10-13T00:04:00.005+01:00

First off; sorry, I shouldn't have said to try not to take too much time, that was me being a bit selfish there, but I did mean it when I said "take as much time as you need" You know where I'll be.

I had so much more I wanted to put in here, but I forgot most of it...

I want you to remember back to Saturday week ago; when I told you how much you mean to me... I meant every word of it.

If you need to talk to someone, I don't mind if you tell them anything of what I told you tonight.

Finally, to take a quote from a fellow "J-Dizzle" (the one off Scrubs);

... in the end, the most important thing to remember, is WHY you became friends in the first place.

The Lost Generation...?

2008-10-12T18:36:00.002+01:00

The Lost Generation
by Jonathan Reed

'I realise this may be a shock but

"Happiness comes from within"

is a lie, and

"Money will make me happy"

So in 30 years I will tell my children

they are not the most important thing in my life.

My employer will know that

I have my priorities straight because

work

is more important than

family

I tell you this

Once upon a time

Families stayed together

but this will not be true in my era

this is a quick fix society

Experts tell me

30 years from now I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce

I do not concede that

I will live in a country of my own making

In the future

Environmental destruction will be the norm

No longer can it be said that

My peers and I care about this earth

It will be evident that

My generation is apathetic and lethargic

It is foolish to presume that

There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to rewrite it.

(now read backwards :P)

Beautiful

Severe Embarassment

2008-10-12T09:29:00.004+01:00

I just want to scream.

So. Going to bed at 2am is never really a good idea on any given night, but this night (Saturday/Sunday) in particular.

I thought, 'I'm going to go to the loo'
Someone else clearly had the same idea and DIDN'T lock the door.

I won't tell you who.

They seemed a lot less embarassed than I.

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Also, we need to talk; you know who you are.
Can you text me when you're back tonight?
Thanks, I'll see you later.

Knots and String!

2008-10-10T19:12:00.004+01:00

The ISH is now up and running again, so here it is, yesterday's post...

"Yesterday I was sick with the flu :( I missed Greek :( and RE...

I also forgot to go to CU Hall Group... whoops, and was too under the weather to try the fiddle group :(

Today I feel a lot better, albeit REALLY tired.

I think I forgot to mention aaaages ago (well a few days, but time really flies here!) a pizza delivery guy offered Will some drugs... :S

My internet's down atm, but should get that sorted soonish.

Before 8am this morning there was a knock on my door... I was half naked because I was getting dressed, so I shoved my pyjamas back on and opened the door to be greeted with a workman and a woman. The woman said, "This man here has come to change your window" (the one above the door); I was thinking WHY at this EARLY hour when surely they know people aren't going to be up...?! I asked if I could get dressed first and they were like "Yes of course! hehe" I came back after breakfast (during which time I found and read a letter from my wonderful Future Wifey :P) to find my door largely heavier to open than normal... I looked up and noticed one of those massive weight things on the top, so now we can't keep our doors open...

BUT

then I remembered I had string... and my door has a handle... and my wardrobe, which is beside my door, has a hook. Can you guess what I did? Yup, I tied the string from between the door and the hook! John noticed and followed suit, then I must confess he ended up tying mine too because I got confused with the knots. They were never my speciality; I can do the normal knot (double overhand I think it's called), a slipknot (which has some other very technical name according to a certain climber-friend of mine) and a reef knot. But none of these seemed to suffice, so John did some big complicated thing.

Will is like my alarm clock in the mornings... he doesn't even live on our floor but yet he wakes up Mary, John, Mark and me. Well my proper alarm usually goes off before he calls round but as soon as I hear him shouting "Hubgruuub!" (though technically it ain't hubgrub in the mornings!) I know it's time to actually get out of bed. He didn't come round the other day, so I managed to get up slightly later than usual. Ah well.

We've been promised a fire drill but it hasn't come... we have a bit of hearsay to go on... some people have the idea we were to get two this week (but as it's now Thursday that's highly unlikely) and others seem to think it's one in the next couple of weeks. We know for definite (the wardens told us) that it will be at 6:30am. Great."

Still no fire drill...

I was kinda sick again today; got 3hrs of work done this morning before lunch but I'm guessing that didn't help that much; I regretted going to the Philosophy lecture (though I took a lot of notes but I dread to think if they make a lot of sense) then got the laptop seen to and then fell asleep for about an hour. It was a good sleep, but I feel just a little refreshed. Still, better than not being refreshed at all. Then Ross kept me company when I went for dinner (everyone came back just as I woke up). I had chips; the only "good" (well, decent) thing left by the time I went down. The ketchup was way too vinegary. Better than nothing, though!

My first essay (RE) is due in the day after my birthday :( so I'm trying to do it next week instead of leaving it to the last minute. I cannot remember what else I was going to write...

I'm taking it easy tonight, gonna watch one episode of Neighbours, maybe start a little typing work but maybe not. Who knows, really?

Stupid ISH :(

2008-10-10T12:07:00.002+01:00

My internet connection is totally down... so here I am sitting in the Crombie computer suite and midday, after a strenuous 3hr "read and research" Frederich Engels.

I cannot even remember what I wanted to write.

I did compose something on teh laptop yesterday, about new doors and string and the like, but like I said it's on the laptop... it will work its way here eventually.

I have more things to buy
I have more things to make notes on
I have more things to learn
I am still ill

and you know what? I'm coping incredibly well! :) Ok I just had a minor coughing fit there, but all things considered it was alright.

Fridays are good, I have one lecture at 3pm and that's it :) but it usually means I gotta work a lot during the day so in the evening I can socialise a little bit and get my head round the work I have to do over the weekend.

I was in bed aaaall day on Wednesday, catching up on neighbours whilst trying to stay alive. It worked :) Stephen popped in for a little bit and told me I looked pathetic, then brought me food. Kirsten came in and offered me... biscuits, lollipops and all sorts of other wonderful food but I'd just eaten my lunch and was coughing rather a lot. John tried to talk to me shortly before, but I ended up having a coughing fit and then saying, "Don't make me talk!"

It's all part of the fun! ugh I need more tissues...

A thought...

2008-10-08T08:45:00.003+01:00

I feel like I sat at the "wrong" table this morning at breakfast; my floor buddies all sat at the next one... arousing suscpicions further? lol, dear dear.

Hhhmmm they're starting an Arabic class, I got an email about it... I wonder if it'd be worth any credits......... then I wouldn't have to take Formal Logic 1 next year on top of all the second year stuff....

I'm getting the flu :( I woke up at 3.45am and couldn't stop coughing for about an hour... *rushes off to the chemist*

Greek.

2008-10-07T20:36:00.003+01:00

Rethinking my last post that I shortly deleted, I am going to cope :) Most people seem to have settled into working away and I even used the phrase "I need to work" and then did some work... which is rare indeed. Happiness :)

Now for a mini-rant about Greek.

Why did I have to choose a language and WHY did I have to WANT to pick up GREEK from SCRATCH?!?!?! I COULD have chosen Spanish or something else that I already had a vague understanding of, but GREEK for goodness' sake... I had to want to read the New Testament in its original language, didn't I?

One word... Verbs. I forgot about those.

o verbs... o, eis, ei, omen, ete, ousi(n)

lambano means something that I can NEVER remember. Luo means I untie; ago means I lead or bring; echo means I have or hold (some amusing wedding vows there... to have and to hold... ech kai ech); akouo means I hear or listen to; ballo means I throw; lego means I say speak or tell; blepo means I see or am watching; didasko means I teach;

? becomes ;

blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

RAWR

2008-10-07T16:22:00.001+01:00

for Clare :)

pfft

2008-10-06T11:26:00.003+01:00

Clare, I apologise for how alike to your last post this sounds, but I'm actually right this second, going through a similar line of thought myself. Albeit worded slightly differently :P

Sometimes things really make you think.
Sometimes it's the little things that set your brain off.
Sometimes you think you're seeing something that's not there, but then you think that for once you're not overthinking.
Sometimes things really annoy you. (I wanted to use another term there but I won't for decency's sake)
Sometimes things that seem simple if you had prepared for them crop up at an unexpected time.

Sometimes, the little things really make you think.

Like, I mean really.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2008-10-06T10:01:00.001+01:00

The internet has now been renamed...

the ISH :P

(Information Super Highway)